Passion

I know I haven't blogged in a long time. So forgive me if this is a really long post.

Seth and I have come a long way since I received the scholarship from Beth Moore a couple of months ago. I was again on Twitter and saw that the Passion conference was giving some men's scholarships away. Seth applied immediately and by the grace of God was granted a scholarship.

The next matter that we were praying to God to provide for was the hotel. We no new God would provide if He wanted us to go and we were praying with great expectation. During a women's event at church Jessie and Mom Roberts were selling mittens. The next day they told us at lunch that they were selling mittens to pay for our hotel room at Passion. I was in tears. I knew this was where God wanted us to be simply because our family was prepared to also sacrifice for us to be there.

We also were given financial gifts from my best friend Stephanie as well as my Mom and Dad. We are so thankful that God has given us people in our lives and believe in the vision that Seth and I believe that God is asking us to follow. One sweet friend of mine is even fasting from movies and TV while we are gone so she can more passionately pray for us. We couldn't be more thankful.

God also gave us other jobs that we could do to make money to keep us afloat while we were saving for Passion.  He gave me perfectly placed overnight nannying jobs and even a house/dog sitting job over Christmas right before we left.  God was making it so clear that we were supposed to be at this conference.  I have never felt anything more clear from God in my whole life.  Ever.

 Seth and I have felt as of we have been called to ministry together for a little while. But more specifically I have felt like God has been preparing me for ministry my whole life. How, where and when that will be He has not yet made clear, but he has put that passion in my heart. And he has finally shared that passion with my husband. We feel like this may be why God has called us to go to Passion this year, to reveal something to us. But we don't know. Because of that, we ask that you will partner with us in prayer with is while we are gone.

Please pray that God will make it clear why we felt so led to go to this specific conference, and made it so possible this specific year.

Please pray that for everyone else coming to the conference as we all prepare our hearts in prayer.

We are so thankful for your prayers and love already. We couldn't ask for better people to do life with.

I know we aren't going to do missions, or even leaving the country.  But I feel like this trip is really going to change our lives, forever.

 He's already there.  

Fox River Waterford

A day that we have been praying about for what seems like forever is finally here. October, 7 2012, Fox River Waterford is going to open their doors to the Waterford and surrounding community. God has his hands working all over Waterford and it is so exciting to watch.

I have known since the very first time they announced that Fox River was going to be opening another campus in Waterford. I filled out the Waterford interest card and handed it in right away. I almost couldn't understand it. In love the Lawnsdale campus. I love the environment, I love the people. I met my husband there, I got engaged there and I got married there. God has stitched Fox River into my heart so fiercely sometimes it brings me to tears.

And that is why God called me to go to the Waterford campus. I have this passion to share the love of Christ with as many people as I can get my hands on. And so does Fox River. They love people just as God has called the church to love people. I have a passion for the people of Waterford to hear about the love of Jesus. A Jesus, a God that came and died for them so that they might have life.  Life that is really life. He loves them, and he has so put in a passion in mine and Seth's hearts. We will give everything for His cause and to spread His love.

Will you pray for the rest of this week as we open Waterford. Will you pray that the school's auditorium is packed with people ready to hear about the word of God? Will you pray their hearts will be soft? Will you pray for Pastor Guy as he speaks to two campuses this weekend? Fox River Waterford needs your prayers!

He's already there.

Will you pray with us?

Seth and I have been given an amazing opportunity.  I don't know how many of you have hear about the Passion conference that is held in Atlanta GA every year, but we get to go.

It has been on my heart since last April that Seth and I should go to the passion conference. But last winter everything just wasn't lining up. Everything was too "messy". I was barley employed and still getting sick too often to take a car ride all the way down to Georgia. But we also knew that if the timing was right that God would provide. He didn't. And we didn't go.

The time came around this year when I felt a burning inside of me to go to the Passion conference again. Let me explain, it's not that we want to go it's like we feel we need to go. Trust me, we are newly weds with one of us still in college, there is a lot we could do with this money. Plus it's time off work for both of us, and my best friend will be on from leave from the Marines while we are gone. But God is telling us, urging us to go. I don't really feel as of we even have a choice.  Seth said that of we could afford it we could go. I took more of the approach of if God wants us to afford it we will go. I started crunching the numbers so that we could ask people how to specifically pray for us. Then something really cool happened.

I was on twitter one day and I saw a tweet from Beth Moore saying that she was giving away 2,000 scholarships away for young women to attend the conference. I was blown away, I could feel the Holy Spirit telling me that this was one of the ways He was going t provide for us. I applied as soon as I got home and I just found out this Wednesday that I received one of those scholarships. I am so thankful. God always provides.

So dear friends, I'm asking you to pray. I'm asking for prayer in 4 very specific areas.
   That God would reveal to us in His perfect timing why we are supposed to go to this conference
That we would make the sacrifices necessary to make this trip happen
That Seth and I would begin to prepare our hearts now for the trip so thanks would be as fruitful as possible
And that nothing, like time off of work or other commitments would "stand in our way of going."

We are so thankful for your prayers. Thank you for journeying with us.

He's already there.

A sweet moment with my baby sister

Alayna and I just had a really sweet moment that I just need to write down.  It is one of those moments that you never want to forget.  I have started to pack up my room a little bit today, just because life is going to get really crazy after this weekend and I know that I will be more motivated to keep packing if I start.  Anyways, Alayna has been hanging out in the basement with me all day and I had just finished taking everything off of the walls. (I have TONS of stuff on my walls, picture frames, posters, flags from the countries I’ve been to, etc.) Alayna walks into my room and really sadly looks at the wall and says, “Ashey I really do not like your walls looking like this.”  And comes and sits on my lap.  She is chattering about how we should put everything up really quick before mom gets home, and is just being really sad.  So I looked at her and said, “Lane, you know how I’m getting married in August?”  And she replies, “to Seth, right?” “Yeah babe, to Seth.  Well, when Ashey and Seth get married I’m going to go live in a new house with Seth, but I will come visit you a lot and we won’t have to miss each other that much.”  She looks at me and says with tears on her little cheeks, “But Ashey… I will miss you 100 if you leave here.”  Oh my it just about broke my heart.  We sat on my bedroom floor crying for quite a while, I am sure we just looked ridiculous.  We both were consoled however, when Alayna looked up and me and said, “Well, didn’t Seth find you a house with an Alayna room in it?”  Why yes babe, yes he did!

I am so excite to get married and live with Seth and start my forever with him.  But as humans I think that we like to resist change.  I have lived with my family my entire life.  I never really did that whole move out of the house thing during my college years, and so now this is extra hard!  I am so excited about my “new” life, but sometimes it can be overwhelming.  Especially when I am dealing with 3 year-old emotions!  I just love her (and the rest of my family) SO much; it is hard to think about leaving them! 

But that my friends, is just part of growing up, and I can’t wait to see where God takes us!

He's already there.

Our actions should speak louder than our words.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good and perfect will (NIV). 

Paul is trying to tell us here that we need (of course) to be living in the world, but need to act as if our citizenship is elsewhere.  In Philippians Paul writes, “We, however, are citizens of heaven, and we eagerly wait for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come from heaven.” (GNT)  As Christ follower and lovers of the Lord we need to remember not to “put all of our eggs in one basket.” 

This life is not all we are given and is certainly not all we are promised.  We are promised full happiness in our eternal life, not here only on this earth.  That is something we as a body need to keep in the front of our brains.  Everything that this world says to be fun is not going to be worth it once we get to heaven and need to explain ourselves to the God of the universe.

And I might really make myself sound like a nerd here, but I have can have a-stinkin’-lot of fun without sinning.  You don’t have to sin to have fun in this world.  I know it can really seems like it (I fall in that pit a lot), but it is a lie that Satan is telling you, to try and get you to fall away!  We must be strong!

Are we really going to be able to justify all that sin to the God who sent down His own son to atone for the sins of the entire universe?  I know that I am not going to be able to.  I think that we need to take that into account everyday with everything that we do.  We need to think, “Is this sin really worth it?”  Is this sin really worth risking the treasures that God has intended for us in heaven? 

I think that we will find that the answer to that question, is no. 

He’s already there.  

Our Love for Christ

I have been thinking about something for quite some time now. If we love Christ as much as we proclaim we do. If we love Christ as much as we say we do at church and as much as we do when we are in our Bible studies, how can we keep that love to ourselves? I have a hard time understanding how we can sit around not sharing the love of God with everyone around us. I have had a burden (for lack of a better word) since I was a freshman in college, to let everyone I come in contact with know that I love Christ. To let them know that there is “something different” about me, and if they want to talk about it, I am always here for them. However, that is not always the case, is it? I hide my faith sometimes, and minutes later I am beating myself up. We hide from telling people about Christ, but why do you hide? We hide because we are afraid. We are afraid to share the love that God has given us. The love that Christ gave when he come down from heaven as a baby and then died on the cross as a man for sins that He never committed. Doesn't it now seem silly, in reflection? That we cannot even tell people that Jesus loves them, that the God of the universe knows their names and genuinely cares for them, because we are afraid of what they will think?

Jesus laid is out very clearly in Matthew 28. He told us, “¹⁶ The eleven disciples went to the hill in Galilee where Jesus had told them to go.¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him, even though some of them doubted.¹⁸ Jesus drew near and said to them, I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.¹⁹ Go, then, to all peoples everywhere and make them my disciples: baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,²⁰and teach them to obey everything I have commanded you. And I will be with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28: 16-20 GNT). He clearly tells us to go out into the entire world and tell everyone that Jesus loves them, that Jesus loves me.

So again, it is all about that eternal perspective. This life is not all we have been promised, this earth is not all we have been promised. Heaven, heaven is what we have been promised. We have to remember that some pain and discomfort here has been promised. That people making fun of us, or writing us off for what we believe will happen. But Jesus has sent us to tell and to love, not to be afraid. And that we must remember.

He’s already there.

First World Problems

I am happy to say that this is my first, very unrelated to Crohn's Disease blog post! Writing has always been a passion that God has given to me, and I am super happy to be able to do it!

I am sure that many of you have heard this phrase before, “first world problems.” It is something that has been on my heart for weeks and weeks. It is not a new phenomenon, nor will it ever not be I believe. It is hard for me these days to sit back silently and listen to people worry about their “first world problems”. While I understand, and honestly do it as well, it is hard for me. I do understand that this is the only life we know and understand. That GLEE not coming on the night you expect it to, or the food that you ordered at a restaurant was not what you were expecting, are the things that people in America have to worry about. We don’t have to worry about where our next meal is coming from, or if the water we just let our child drink was clean and drinkable. God does not give us these things to worry about, and that I understand. However, doesn’t it seem a little selfish to you? Doesn’t it seem selfish that while we are sitting around wanting and “needing” more and more, there are millions of people half a world away, that are working their tails off just to get some food to their babies at the end of the night. I am not railing on anyone; I will be the first to admit that I have to daily stop myself from griping about “first world problems”. And I am not always successful. I have to remind myself when the hot heater is broken for the second time that year and I have to take a cold shower that millions of people that day did not even get the luxury of waking up in a bed that morning, let alone getting to take a shower. I have to remember when I’m sitting on the side of the road with a tire that is blown out, to stop and consider that some people walk miles and miles to go to work every day and do not have the immense blessing of having their OWN personal car to take them to and from everywhere they want to go. That when, my dear friends we are upset that our people in our lives have not picked up after themselves for the thousandth time that day (or so it seems ; )), we take the time to remember that some people do not even have things to pick up. It is an uphill battle. We need to choose instead, to try. To try and remember to thank God that the only problem we had today was that our internet didn’t work, or that our car didn’t start. We just need to try. It is a daily struggle that we cannot achieve in our own power. We must daily call upon the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will allow us to die to self and allow his grace and mercy to flow out of us. It is all about the eternal perspective.

He’s already there.

Back to work I went

So, I went back to work last week! This decision was met with a lot of anxiety in my mind. Mostly because the first time I ever got really super sick, I was a work. I suppose I am always worried in the back of my mind that it will happen again. Going back to work has always been a "test of my trust" in God. I always trust, but sometimes it is really hard. I always find myself drawing closer and closer to His word and His love the days before I go back to work. Work was great, and I made good money and it felt good to go back to work. It felt like I was finally getting back into normal life. God is so good, and I love the way He works. It's not always fun, but it always works out in the best of ways! Thank you Lord for helping me to see that I don't always know, and that I do not need to be afraid! You have promised me that you will always be with me!

He's already there.

Blessed by the Best

I just need to take a moment to brag about my awesome friends and family. First of all I have the best mom and dad in the entire world. They stayed up with me during all my "prep" and watched Harry Potter, even though they had to get up early. They also put their whole day aside to take me to the doctor together and make sure that I had the love and support I needed. My mom "fought" for me, and made sure that she was with me the entire time, until I was "out". I also must brag about my wonderful sister who sat with me in the bathroom, made me my "laxative cocktail", and even held my hand while I gagged it down. She is an amazing sister and I'm not sure that I would have made it without here there to make me laugh and to take my mind off of it. I also have some of the best friends in the world. From Liz Hummitzsch sending me flowers with a beautiful Bible message to Jenna Horgan making me a beautiful piece of encouragement to hang on my wall to Jessie Roberts and Jenna watching my little sister and making me get well cards while I had to go to the hospital today. Those cards warmed my heart more than you could ever imagine. And of course I cannot forget my amazing fiance Seth. He stayed by my side all night last night when I was sick as a dog "prepping" for my colonoscopy and came to the doctor just to ease my nerves. Then after working a full day of work he came home and made me chocolate covered strawberries (my favorite feel better treat) and made sure that I was alright. And of course I cannot forget each and everyone of you who prayed for me. I would especially like to thank my prayer warrior Tracy Mingo for lifting me up. She is one of the most faithful prayers I have met in my lifetime. So THANK-YOU to each and everyone of you. Thank-you for your prayers, your words of encouragement, encouraging texts,emails and facebook messages, your love and support. God has given me each and everyone of you, and for that I could not me more thankful. I am truly a blessed woman.

He's already there.

Great and not so great rolled into one.

I hope that you find yourself in the midst of great thanksgiving to God for all of His blessings upon us today and everyday. I just wanted to give everyone an update. I had the most dreaded colonoscopy today! As I noted before I have never really liked going to the doctor, so this procedure made me especially nervous! However through strength that only the Lord can give, I held it together much better this time than the last. However, this procedure did not go as well as the last time. For some reason the drugs they were giving me via I.V. (to "put me under") did not take as well this time. During the last part of the procedure I woke up and was feeling everything they were doing, let's just say that it was NOT pleasant at all. They were unable to give me anymore drugs, and I believe that I eventually "passed out" from the pain of it. I'm just saying, there is a reason they put you out for this! So, all in all my biggest fear of the colonoscopy came true, but I know God had a reason for it and I cannot wait to see what it is! On a much happier note, we did find out that I am almost completely in remission. Remission for Crohn's is simply when the disease is no longer active in the bowels and is being completely controlled with medication. I only have two inches that are currently infected (very minimally), and both are separated from each other. I cannot begin to tell you what an amazing blessing this is. I have been praying to God for a while that He would show me if it was the right thing to switch to a different medication. This has been an answer to prayer. The new medication I am on has virtually NO side-effects, it is not an immunosuppressant and it will no longer irritate my liver. The doctor said that in 2-3 weeks I should be feeling "as good as new". This entire experience has been so overwhelmingly hard and yet fulfilling in the same breath. I have learned that my God is truly and wholly an awesome, amazing, all powerful God that holds my entire life in the palm of His hand. God is completely in control of my life and my situation and all the worrying in the world is not going to do any good. He is great and He is good, and I believe that with my whole heart. Thank you for your prayers and for your continued prayers. I cannot being to even say how much your kind words and encouragement in the love of our Father means to me.

He's already there.

Another day.

Hello everyone! I hope that you are all having a wonderful start to your new year!

Yesterday I had to go to the opthamologist to get my eyes checked for Crohn's of the eyes or Uveitis. I have been having some problems with "goop" (for lack of a better word) in my eyes and my GI doctor thought it might be due to Uveitis. Fortunately all the doctor found was that I have "dry eye" syndrome. She sent me on my way with drops. God is so good and faithful. Then I had to go get two blood tests and one other test done. My amazing (soon-to-be) sister-in-law Jessie came to all the appointment with me. She even held my hand through all the blood work, even though "all that stuff" makes her nauseous. She was amazing making me laugh through it all, I do not like needles at all! I am so thankful God gave me not only a wonderful family and great man to marry, but also a wonderful supportive "second family" to call my own. He is so good and faithful even in the pain.

To be honest I have really never loved going to the doctor (in fact I really dislike it a lot). But this whole experience has really shown me that I am SO fortunate to have doctors offices (no matter how "scary" I might find them) around me. I find myself thanking God for lab technicians and blood work, needles, and even the occasional colonoscopy. Some people in this world do not even have access to medical technology. That is why Seth and I are so thankful to belong to a church that has such a heart for medical missions. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to be a person inflicted with illness in a country like Nicaragua or Kenya. I am so thankful that I have access to technology and medical professionals. And I am so thankful for this new perspective on life. I also find myself thinking about how much worse it could be on a daily basis. When people ask me how I'm doing I find the words, "it could always be worse" popping out of my mouth. I truly hope that people do not find this as me trying to blow them off, I just know that it is so true.

He's already there.

First update

As many of you know(or maybe not) I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in April of 2011. This was after years of symptoms and final weeks of testing. Crohn's disease is an inflammatory bowel disease that personally effects my ileum, a small hard to treat section of your bowels. For a while my treatment was going really well, except for a few small bumps and fatigue. Then in December of 2011 my blood tests came back and my liver enzymes were at a 187, normal for me was about a 22. So Seth and I went into the doctor to get some more information. Basically my liver was not processing things as it should and left untreated my liver could (after a while) go into acute liver failure. After that appointment they decreased my medication (6MP) from100mg to 75mg. Two weeks later I had my blood tested again, and while my liver enzymes were going down, they hadn't gone down enough. So they then took my medication down from 75mg to 50mg. And this is where we come into the story now. On New Year’s Eve I had what they call a Crohn's "episode". Basically it is a lot of uncontrollable body shakes, terrible nausea and diarrhea. My nausea pill wasn't working and this episode lasted for almost three hours(my longest to date). I called the doctor today (1/03/2012) and told them everything that had happened. They then called me back to tell me that I should stop taking all of my medication right away and go in tomorrow to get blood work and other tests done. I was also told I have to get another colonoscopy on Monday (1/09/2012), which I am really not too thrilled about. I would really appreciate prayers in all of this. It has been a very long time that I have not been well, and we all thought that this treatment plan was going to be a long term one.
However, God has really taught me a lot through this entire process. He had showed me what incredibly supportive friends and family that He has given me. He has also taught me to trust and to remember that I am not in control, and that I cannot control.
He's already there.

Why I named my blog, "He's already there"

First of all, if you
are reading this blog... Thank you so much! It means so much to me that you are interested in my life enough to read this. I thank God for each and every one of you! You are all truly a blessing to me in your own way, and I couldn't imagine my life without any of you. I am going to use this blog not only to update everyone on my health issues but also the great and abundant things that God blesses me with everyday.

On New Year's Eve my family and I attended service at our church, Fox River Christian Church. The last song they sang was a song called, "Already There" by Casting Crowns. This song really spoke to me, at one point they sing, "When I'm lost in the mystery, to you my future is a memory, Cause You're already there,You're already there. Standing at the end of my life, waiting on the other side, Cause You're already there, You're already there." And I realized that God is already standing at the end of my life watching everything that I do from now until then. That really struck me, because I cannot control this life, and God does truly deeply love me, and he does want the best for me. That everything that happens, both good and bad for for an exact purpose that I cannot and will not know until I am standing at the end of my life with my Savior looking back on the life I have lived. I just have to trust that everything that God does is perfect and just right for me. Because, only He can see how all the pieces of my life fit together, and I just have to trust. He's already there.

Listen to the song
here:
http://youtu.be/Ouj1Ai4lIeY?hd=1